Thursday, September 18, 2008

Tame your Temper

We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. Thus lets try to tame one's anger; EASY TO SAY HUH!!! Tak kena Tak Tau!


(Just a little something to ponder, )
Tame your temper


Controlling your temper isn't always easy. But these effective anger management techniques will help give you the upper hand.



If your outbursts, rages or bullying are negatively affecting relationships with family, friends, co-workers and even complete strangers, it's time to change the way you express your anger. You can take steps on your own to improve your anger management.



Anger management tips
Here are some anger management tips to help get your anger under control:


Take a "time out." Although it may seem cliche, counting to 10 before reacting, or leaving the situation altogether, really can defuse your temper.


Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.


Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "take it easy." You can also listen to music, paint, journal or do yoga.


Once you're calm, express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren't left stewing. If you simply can't express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.


Think carefully before you say anything so that you don't end up saying something you'll regret. Write a script and rehearse it so that you can stick to the issues.

Work with the person who angered you to identify solutions to the situation.


Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework." To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.


Don't hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.

Use humor to release tensions, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's just another form of unhealthy expression.


Keep anger log to identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.

Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up.




You can practice many of these anger management strategies on your own. But if your anger seems out of control, is hurting your relationships or has escalated into violence, you may benefit from seeing a psychotherapist or an anger management professional.




Taken from:

7 comments:

DaNaSh said...

My anger management at school is not so good this year..how do you cope with a person who simply doesn't understand instructions, refuse to listen, give irrational excuses, very pessimistic in every other way and at one point you simply don't realise that you are actually screaming at the person, trying to get some sense out of that person's head...it drives me nut!!!!

Imeirda said...

Naza,

I have encountered this kind of people too. Simple solution is to avoid people that tend to increase irritability or IGNORE them. Kalau tak... true, u feel like exploding. So I would try to remove myself from the situation... forcing my other half to listen to the problems. sebab dia penyabor. hehe

and If semua manusia ni sensible , SENANG, we would have lived in a better world.

Wiz said...

Jeda, how do you avoid this situation when you are living with one? He is a whirlwind, even if captured inside a bottle or alddin's lamp, He would only emerge bigger and stronger like the genie. The thing is he is the only genie I know that does not grant wishes and even if I was granted of some I would only wish for one ...for him to calm down.

You duk kat padang pasir kan, tolong carikan other alddin's lamp for me. Maybe with luck I could find one that really works, ahaks.

Pp said...

yea....like u said...easier said tha done! *sigh*
but, i subscribe to ...menjauhkan diri...as a solution in order not to exagerate the situation.
maybe, i am not a violent fighter afterall! huhuhu
di mana kah darah hang jebat dalam diri ku? sudah tiada agaknya!!

Imeirda said...

Wiz,

Hohoho, Tak dapek den nak tolong!

There are many Aladdin's lamp to b found here, if only u were to get a better genie!! Ala, ask ur genie to compromiselah or e-mail yr genie the points to tame his anger. Jgn marah!

U know what Pak Arabs kat Padang Pasir ni lagi banyak yang berangin, temper kaw-kaw kemain.


PP,

You are right. We are just the type yang tak suka panjangkan cerita. Cut it short. And afterall u bukan nak bertempur dgn Hang Tuah, tak perlu nak jadik Hang Jebat. Mungkin perlu tun tejakan diri????

domestic engineer said...

I second these anger management techniques 101 percent! Meh kita cari anger management techniques dari segi Islam pula...

Imeirda said...

DOM

Bila rasa nak marah esp dgn anak-anak, I Istighfar banyak-banyak then Ambil Wudhuk. Kalau tak mau kena balun teruk. Eh , mama dia ni pun ada hangin gak. Kena banyak sabor dan tenangkan diri, ingat Allah.InsyaAllah redalah sikit.